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Mentoring Forum |
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Balancing
Work and Family: Viewpoints from Different Careers |
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The APS Undergraduate Summer Research
Fellowship (UGSRF) Program supports 24 undergraduate students in the labs of
APS members for 10 weeks in the summer. This year the UGSRFs discussed
possible career choices and the pros and cons of various careers. One topic of recurring interest was that of balancing a demanding and highly satisfying job with having a family and life away from work. Here are a couple questions that were asked: “My main concern with this type of [surgeon] position is the lifestyle that comes with it. Only 8% of surgeons are women and I believe this is due to the additional responsibility of childbearing that women face in a relationship. I am wondering if it is possible to have both the life of an overworked surgeon and that of a loving wife. Would it be possible to balance your life well enough to fit a child into the equation or will one end of the spectrum ultimately suffer? “I had the chance to shadow a cardiothoracic surgeon and even had the opportunity to ask him about his personal life. He described the difficulties he had in balancing his work with family, but stated that it was in fact his wife that was always there to take care of family responsibilities. Is it okay, or even possible for me to expect that situation in reverse?” Response 1: Balancing Work and Family: A Physiologist’s View Christin Carter-Su, Department of Physiology, University of Michigan (Excerpt from “Mentoring for Success in Physiology” by Christin Carter-Su, Professor of Physiology, University of Michigan, 2005 Recipient of the Bodil Schmidt-Nielsen Distinguished Mentor and Scientist Award, published in The Physiologist 48(4: 167, 172-178, 2005) Being a successful woman with a husband and two children, I probably get asked most for advice about balancing work and family. This is the advice I give women, but most of it applies to men as well as women: Family gives women happiness; Work gives women self-esteem. For this reason, it is important to keep a balance in your life. You should not feel guilty for working and you should not feel guilty for having a family and wanting to spend some quality time with them. But there are ways that you can make your life easier. Choose your mate carefully. It is difficult and time-consuming to work full-time and have a family. It is virtually impossible if you are expected to work full-time and handle all the traditional female roles of wife, house-keeper, care-giver and cook. It is best to find a mate who values your job equally with his/hers and will share willingly and equally in household responsibilities. Get lots of outside household help. If both you and your spouse are working, you need to think of it as 1 and 1/2 incomes, not as two. You need to plan on spending at least 1/2 of an income on help. Hire someone to clean your house for you. Hire the best daycare provider possible, preferably someone who will come to your house and will also do the laundry and other household chores. Hire someone to mow the grass. In essence, hire someone to do those jobs that you do not like doing so that you will have time to do the things that you do want or need to do, such as spend quality time with your children and spouse or write up another paper for publication. Build a strong support network. If like me, you do not have family in the area who can help when emergencies arise, you need to build a strong support network. When my children were young, my husband would ask every teenage girl he saw in our neighborhood whether she babysat. We made arrangements ahead of time with other friends and neighbors who had childcare to cross cover for each other if our childcare fell through. We paid for our children to attend before and after-school programs even when we had after-school childcare at home just so we could send our kids to those programs on those days we did need it, such as when I had to give an 8 am lecture, the childcare giver called in sick, or the teachers were having one of their many in-service training or reporting days. We got the phone numbers of our friends’ current and former caregivers, graduate and undergraduate students who were willing to baby-sit in a pinch, preschool student helpers, anyone who might be able to take care of our children on snow days, when our children were sick, or when our caregiver was unable to come for whatever reason. Form friendships with other working families. And as a corollary, try not to live in a neighborhood or send your child to a preschool where all the other families have a stay-at-home parent. Our daughters went to a preschool where a requirement was that both parents had to have at least a half time job. Until they were five and went to public kindergarten, our children did not realize there was such a thing as a stay-at-home mom. Our children’s preschool did not ask you to contribute food and help serve a Thanksgiving dinner—they prepared it and served it to you! Other working families can provide valuable information and emotional support. This is true for both men and women. It was one of my husband’s male colleagues who helped persuade us of the benefits of having at-home care for our newborn. Other working families can tell you how and where to find good help, the best preschools and summer camps for working families, how to cope with having one spouse out of town, where to buy the best “home-cooked” food to bring to school events, which sports teams have the best coaches and more importantly, the most convenient practice times, locations and car pools. Forget about domestic perfection. There are times in your life when it is impractical to have the perfect house, the kind of house many of us grew up in. You need to make priorities. My husband’s and my priorities are to spend time with our children and each other rather than to spend time straightening the house, cooking gourmet meals or having a Sunset magazine garden. For quite a few years, we entertained at home only those friends we knew well enough to have over without straightening up the house. Delegate. Learn how to delegate. This goes for the home as well as work. There was one year when it became obvious that I was not going to be able to get my grant application out doing it primarily by myself as I had usually done or even by getting help from just those people in my laboratory whose work was funded by that grant. In desperation, I announced to the laboratory that I needed everyone to stop working on his/her experiments and help with the grant. I had people looking up techniques, proof reading, shortening the text, checking references, working on figures, and buying food for everyone working on the grant. What was enlightening to me was finding out afterwards that no one really minded helping, despite some very long days and nights. Some in fact told me they really enjoyed it because it made them feel an important and integral part of the laboratory. They learned a lot about the science going on in the entire laboratory, and about what it takes to put together a grant application. I have never looked back! Response 2: Balancing Life as a Surgeon With Home and Family David I. Soybel, Associate Professor of Surgery, Harvard Medical School Division of General and Gastrointestinal Surgery, Brigham & Women’s Hospital
Many female students today would like a
medical career but are concerned whether they can manage both a demanding
career and a family. Being a surgeon (general and GI), I wanted to give you
some insight into how I and my colleagues are balancing work, home and
family. |
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